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Friday, 25 March 2011

Continuation and update

  • Last post was about dieting and hunger! A friend read it and asked if I was talking about them and I just dismissed it with a simple, confused 'no' without thinking why they asked til later. I came on just now to update and reread it and was like 'wtf?!.. if you think that's about you then bitch you be starvin yourself!' :P However, I'm sure, if I elaborate, everyone who has ever seriously watched their weight will see themselves!!
  • I HATE the word diet. I hate even saying that I'm on a diet. I always judge people when they say that. I don't think the word diet, or my definition of it, is positive. It just makes me think deprivation, rules, limitations and hunger. Strict, scary, horrible!
  • Rules are not for me. The only rules I can ever follow are the ones I make because they are so flexible! There are certain limitations that need to be in place in my life but, ultimately, I live to be happy. Obsessing over every last calorie and every lost pound is NOT happiness to me!
  • That's not me dismissing diets or the approaches to weightloss that work for other people. My housemate is losing shitloads of weight on Unislim (Similar idea to Weight Watchers) and looking damn hot! And that shit ain't easy! The thought strikes fear in me because of the regimentedness. Numbers and targets and weighing foods and rules, even the fact that you have to be somewhere at a specific time and place every week!
  • I am NOT saying that my housemate or people who go to Unislim or WW or whatever are too hardcore or whatever, though I definitely think my hobag housemate could cut herself an occassional break on the exceptionally rare weeks she doesn't achieve yet another giant weightloss! (She reads this and knows that I am calling her a hobag in an affectionate way... that and she's a bitch! :P) My problem with the regime part, is the failure aspect.
  • At various points in my weightloss, I got really into weighing myself! That's what I consider being 'on a diet'. When you are rating your progress on numbers there is always a slight feeling that if you don't lose weight every week you are failing or setting yourself back or whatever. And that's the problem where I'm concerned- the pressure of it spurs you on when you do well and the negative shit that brings into your mind- I didnt lose weight this week/month. I suck. I am going to eat only grapes or whatever. I would not be able to do that but ya know what I'm getting at.
  • You cant ignore the numbers. You would be quite the fool to do that! I still weigh myself to check which way I'm moving. But I HATE getting obsessive about the weighing part. I hate doing that when I know I eat well 80% of the time and I really enjoy working out! Some weeks the 80% dips to 50% and then I give myself a talking to and get back on track! I know that's not an approach for everyone but it stops me getting bogged down in feeling like I suck when I 'fail'.
  • So, scratch that....when I wrote last time, it WAS about you, all of you, anyone who thinks it applies to them- it probably does. It wasnt AIMED at anyone though- nobody but the monsters in my mind. It was a general reference to shitty habits that don't solve anything long-term. Shit that loads of people do. It was me having a word with myself over feeling crappy for barely losing weight in 2011 when the important thing was that I was looking better and living better. I wasn't considering starving or whatever I refered to. I was talking myself out of falling into a pity party and likening pity parties to all the other shitty 'diet' habits that exist! Which is an important talk to have with myself considering I AM NOT ON A DIET!


  • I'm back at 76kg! Hhahaha! Such a plateau number-wise! However, I think I'm proving myself right here- SIZE 12! Kinda proves the point right?! I'm still a 14 in trousers but my 14s are roomier than they were a month ago. I tried on stuff today in the shop- sizes 14 and 12. I walked out with only 12s. So negativity, obsessive weighing and forbidden foods can suck my balls! Weightloss is ultimately about your own self control. Have your cake (or chinese food in my case), eat it too, then don't have cake again til you REALLY want it (Sometimes it may be 2 days later but it happens.) and then enjoy it all the more! It seems to be working for me even if that dick of a scales won't agree! :P